Scroll down to the previous entry to see how Wayne hit the ground running in this game. My other favorite moment came when Chris Young led off the top of the 4th with a double, prompting Wayne give us the following:
"That Chris Young is a hard guy to get out right now, as he has now batted for the third time tonight, and he's on twice."
You have to have heard this to appreciate how much emphasis Wayne put on those italicized terms, and to understand how remarkable he made it sound. Yes, Wayner, it's very, very remarkable that Chris Young was -- drumroll, please -- 2-for-3.
What a clown. Fire Wayne Hagin already!
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Friday, July 30, 2010
July 30th: Off and Running!
Tonight's Mets/Dbacks game had just started when Wayne got off a beauty. First he mentioned that Mike Pelfrey had given up a run in the 1st inning of his last nine starts -- that's a good tidbit, solid info, no doubt in his game notes. Then, with his usual air of faux-profundity, he says this:
"So the beginning is really the start to the end for him, in many ways."
Now think about that: "the start to the end." Does he mean it's the beginning of the end? Does he mean it's a means to an end? And what are these "many ways" he's referring to?
This is absolutely classic Hagin -- the grandiose statement that (a) means absolutely nothing, and (b) actually confuses the issue. Even worse, you know Wayne had planned all along to mention Pelf's 1st inning problems, so this wasn't a spontaneous comment -- it was something he could have (and should have) scripted. He had plenty of time to prepare for how he was going to comment on this. And the best he could do was "So the beginning is really the start to the end for him, in many ways."
And it's only the top of the 1st. Fire Wayne Hagin already!
"So the beginning is really the start to the end for him, in many ways."
Now think about that: "the start to the end." Does he mean it's the beginning of the end? Does he mean it's a means to an end? And what are these "many ways" he's referring to?
This is absolutely classic Hagin -- the grandiose statement that (a) means absolutely nothing, and (b) actually confuses the issue. Even worse, you know Wayne had planned all along to mention Pelf's 1st inning problems, so this wasn't a spontaneous comment -- it was something he could have (and should have) scripted. He had plenty of time to prepare for how he was going to comment on this. And the best he could do was "So the beginning is really the start to the end for him, in many ways."
And it's only the top of the 1st. Fire Wayne Hagin already!
Thursday, July 29, 2010
July 29th: Cardinals vs. Mets
I've been remiss in my Wayne-watching lately -- been busy in the evenings and then I attended this afternoon's game in person. Fortunately, reader Brian Erni was listening to today's game on the radio. As I walked out of the ballpark toward my car, he sent me the following dispatch:
Welcome aboard the Wayner wagon, Brian, and thanks for that report. (And if anyone else wants to submit some of Wayne's whoppers, send your choice bits of Haginicity here.)
Once I got to my car, I was able to hear a bit of Wayne on the postgame show. He mentioned that the key defensive plays of the game were a pair of double plays that the Mets turned, "which were very important, because a man was on first." Yes, Wayne, that's often the case when a double play takes place. Why does this man have a job? Fire Wayne Hagin already!
I must admit, I was slow to get on the Wayne Hagin crusade. But after today, my mind has changed, because Wayne was really on top of his game. Here's how he massacred the seventh inning.
On my way back to work from my lunch break, I was listening to the game in the car. Wayne had the seventh inning and Albert Pujols came to the plate. Wayne was excited to state that Albert had done something in the 2000s decade that had only been done three times before: "Pujols led the majors for the decade in batting average, home runs AND RBIs -- the CYCLE!"
Wayne corrected himself after putting major inflection on "cycle," realizing he had just boned it and stumbled around the correction. "Of course, I said the cycle, but I mean, of course, the triple crown, being batting average, home runs and RBIs..."
It was at this point that I ran into the post office to send out some letters. This took a solid 10 minutes. I come back out to the car and hear Wayne continuing, "...Pujols leading the league in the three offensive categories for the decade!" So this guy belabored this ridiculous point for the rest of the top of the seventh and then took it into the bottom of the seventh with one out. And it wasn't even that great of a tidbit! It's a MADE UP measuring stick that has happened four times in twelve decades, which by my count is 33% of the time -- not such a rarity. …
Later, it started to drizzle and Howie Rose said, "It's a good thing the Mets have handed out umbrellas today at the stadium, because the rain is starting to fall lightly..." Once Howie finished Wayne said, "Good thing it's Umbrella Day here at the stadium!" Gee, I'm so glad no one else had said that 6-1/2 seconds earlier!
Welcome aboard the Wayner wagon, Brian, and thanks for that report. (And if anyone else wants to submit some of Wayne's whoppers, send your choice bits of Haginicity here.)
Once I got to my car, I was able to hear a bit of Wayne on the postgame show. He mentioned that the key defensive plays of the game were a pair of double plays that the Mets turned, "which were very important, because a man was on first." Yes, Wayne, that's often the case when a double play takes place. Why does this man have a job? Fire Wayne Hagin already!
Friday, July 23, 2010
July 22nd: Mets vs. Dodgers
I only caught a few innings of last night's game (this west coast trip, with its late-night game times, is not conducive to Wayner-watching), but that was enough for Wayne to come up with a beauty. It was in the bottom of the third, when he offered the following:
"The Mets at 19-30 on the road. I would've never figured that for this ballclub, simply because it was built for Citi Field, meaning that they didn't have to mash a lot of home runs -- they were supposed to be able to manufacture runs."
Now let's think about that for a second. In one breath he can't understand why the team is struggling on the road, and in the next he says they were built for their home ballpark. In other words, Wayne's answered his own question and doesn't even realize it. Brilliant!
Of course, the reality is that the Mets are not built for Citi Field. Most of the team's key elements are the same as they were during their last season at Shea. But if Wayne's going to rubber-stamp the marketing spin that this is now a small-ball team, he should at least reference that spin coherently.
The kicker came in his next sentence: "I really think the culprit for the Mets on the road for that bad record is lack of offense." Gee, ya think? Thank the lordy we have professional broadcasters offering astute insights like that one. Fire Wayne Hagin already!
"The Mets at 19-30 on the road. I would've never figured that for this ballclub, simply because it was built for Citi Field, meaning that they didn't have to mash a lot of home runs -- they were supposed to be able to manufacture runs."
Now let's think about that for a second. In one breath he can't understand why the team is struggling on the road, and in the next he says they were built for their home ballpark. In other words, Wayne's answered his own question and doesn't even realize it. Brilliant!
Of course, the reality is that the Mets are not built for Citi Field. Most of the team's key elements are the same as they were during their last season at Shea. But if Wayne's going to rubber-stamp the marketing spin that this is now a small-ball team, he should at least reference that spin coherently.
The kicker came in his next sentence: "I really think the culprit for the Mets on the road for that bad record is lack of offense." Gee, ya think? Thank the lordy we have professional broadcasters offering astute insights like that one. Fire Wayne Hagin already!
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Two Peas in a Podcast
Hey, this is pretty cool: Wayne being interviewed on a San Francisco radio station! It took place when the Mets were in SanFran last weekend. If you listen to it, you'll learn that Wayne:
• Is completely obsessed with the Giants, who were his favorite team when he was growing up and still have that status today.
• Still hasn't gotten over being sacked by the Giants early in his broadcasting career.
• Could "see fear in Atlee Hammaker's eyes" before a 1987 playoff game and therefore knew the Giants were doomed.
• Is still reliving in his mind the time he had six RBI in a high school game.
• Thinks New York is "a TV town, not a radio town" (a very odd thing to say when you work in New York radio).
• Babbles on endlessly and won't let the interviewer get a word in edgewise (not unlike the way he broadcasts a game).
My thanks to Paul Widerecht for bringing this one to my attention. Fire Wayne Hagin already!
• Is completely obsessed with the Giants, who were his favorite team when he was growing up and still have that status today.
• Still hasn't gotten over being sacked by the Giants early in his broadcasting career.
• Could "see fear in Atlee Hammaker's eyes" before a 1987 playoff game and therefore knew the Giants were doomed.
• Is still reliving in his mind the time he had six RBI in a high school game.
• Thinks New York is "a TV town, not a radio town" (a very odd thing to say when you work in New York radio).
• Babbles on endlessly and won't let the interviewer get a word in edgewise (not unlike the way he broadcasts a game).
My thanks to Paul Widerecht for bringing this one to my attention. Fire Wayne Hagin already!
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
July 20th: Mets vs. Diamondbacks
Only caught a smidge of this game, but it was enough to hear Hagin once again describe third base as "a reactionary position." Guess he isn't a regular reader at all. Fire Wayne Hagin already!
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
July 19th: Mets vs. Diamondbacks
First, let's give some credit where it's due. I didn't hear any of Friday's or Saturday's games, but I caught a few innings of Sunday's game in the car and all of last night's game at home, and it has to be said: The Wayner has been a bit better. No, he hasn't worked his way up to listenable status yet, but he's been a bit less annoyingly pompous, not quite as over-emphatic, a smidge more restrained. Perhaps he's been reading this site and taking its analysis to heart? Always nice to have a regular reader. Hi, Wayne!
Still, last night did feature a few whoppers, beginning with this one from the top of the 1st: "Let's face it, Angel Pagan has been this team's first-half MVP" -- an assessment that would no doubt come as a news flash to David Wright (or to anyone else with half a clue). And as he's done on other occasions, Hagin also referred to third base as "a reactionary position." Earth to Wayner: Reactionary refers to anti-progressive politics. The word you're looking for is reactive.
Later, Hagin indulged his odd obsession with an utterly meaningless phenomenon: a team hitting for the cycle in one inning. He always mentions this when a team is one hit away from achieving it, including last night during the bottom of the 6th, after the D-Backs had hit a single, double, and triple. Sure enough, Mark Reynolds promptly homered, leading Hagin to proclaim, with enormous satisfaction, "…and the Diamondbacks have hit for the cycle this inning against Fernando Nieve!" The tone in Hagin's voice always implies, "I'm the only one who ever thought of that!," and for once he was right.
But the best moment came during one of Rod Barajas's at-bats, when Hagin said, with characteristic faux-gravitas, "If [Ian] Kennedy makes a mistake here, Barajas could make him pay with a home run." Statements don't get much more pointless than this, since any hitter could (or could not) make any pitcher pay for a mistake. On the very next pitch, Barajas hit a long fly that was foul, leading Howie Rose to quip, "You keep saying that often enough and you might get lucky." Nicely put, Howie. Fire Wayne Hagin already!
Still, last night did feature a few whoppers, beginning with this one from the top of the 1st: "Let's face it, Angel Pagan has been this team's first-half MVP" -- an assessment that would no doubt come as a news flash to David Wright (or to anyone else with half a clue). And as he's done on other occasions, Hagin also referred to third base as "a reactionary position." Earth to Wayner: Reactionary refers to anti-progressive politics. The word you're looking for is reactive.
Later, Hagin indulged his odd obsession with an utterly meaningless phenomenon: a team hitting for the cycle in one inning. He always mentions this when a team is one hit away from achieving it, including last night during the bottom of the 6th, after the D-Backs had hit a single, double, and triple. Sure enough, Mark Reynolds promptly homered, leading Hagin to proclaim, with enormous satisfaction, "…and the Diamondbacks have hit for the cycle this inning against Fernando Nieve!" The tone in Hagin's voice always implies, "I'm the only one who ever thought of that!," and for once he was right.
But the best moment came during one of Rod Barajas's at-bats, when Hagin said, with characteristic faux-gravitas, "If [Ian] Kennedy makes a mistake here, Barajas could make him pay with a home run." Statements don't get much more pointless than this, since any hitter could (or could not) make any pitcher pay for a mistake. On the very next pitch, Barajas hit a long fly that was foul, leading Howie Rose to quip, "You keep saying that often enough and you might get lucky." Nicely put, Howie. Fire Wayne Hagin already!
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