Must … not … waste … so much time … on … Wayne … Ah, it's no use. Wayne is so consistently awful, and keeps finding so many new ways to top himself, that there's simply no way to avoid writing about him. It's like trying not to look at a car crash. Even if you put blinders on, you still end up rubbernecking.
He came up with a certified Wayne's Whopper™ in the bottom of the 2nd of Wednesday night's Mets/Pads game. Howie Rose was running down the scores of other games and mentioned that Dan Uggla had already singled in his first at-bat, extending his hitting streak to 31 games. That prompted following comment from Wayne:
"Wherever he is, maybe Luis Castillo's starting to get a little nervous, because he has the club record for the Marlins, at 35 in a row."
Now, that's not a bad line, especially since any mention of Castillo is bound to get a rise out of Mets fans. Plus it shows the Wayner was doing his homework. He must have looked up the Marlins' franchise-record hitting streak before the game and had the Castillo quip ready. Good job!
Just one problem: Dan Uggla doesn't play for the Marlins anymore. He was traded to Atlanta last November and has been racking up that hitting streak for the Braves.
Somebody must have whispered something about this in Wayne's ear, because a minute later he tried to save face, thusly: "I make that reference to Uggla and Castillo simply because they're probably the two most prominent -- you know, Marlins second basemen. Of course, Uggla's doing that with Atlanta, but you get the drift."
The drift, of course, is that Wayne put both feet in his massive mouth yet again. By now he must be very accustomed to the taste of his own shoe leather.
Incidentally, the Braves' franchise hitting streak record is held by Tommy Holmes, at 37 games. The reason I know that is that Howie Rose -- who sits right next to Wayne -- has mentioned it several times during Uggla's streak.
Poor Howie. His head must be about ready to explode. Mine sure is. Fire Wayne Hagin already!