July 15th: Mets vs. Giants

Clearly refreshed after the all-star break, Hagin hits the ground running in the bottom of the 2nd. After Pablo Sandoval hits an RBI double, Wayne has this to say: "That's only the second hit for Sandoval against the Mets all season."

This statement -- delivered, like most of Hagin's commentary, with an air of grandeur, as if he were imparting a profound nugget of information -- would be meaningful if Sandoval played for, say, the Marlins, or the Nationals, or any other division opponent that had played a bunch of games against the Mets this year. But the Giants had played only three games against the Mets prior to this game. So Hagin's statement, like so much of what he says, meant nothing.

Other highlights:

• Top of the 8th, Chris Carter on first: "Standing at first base, just taking it in nonchalantly is -- well, that can't be an accurate des-- piction of Chris Cater taking it in leisurely at first. There's nothing leisurely about his way of life. That guy is intense. As intense as anybody I've ever seen."

So many great Hagin tropes all running together in that quote: the ridiculous over-emphasis, the brain writing the check that the mouth can't cash (started to say "description," changed it to "depiction" in mid-stream), the utter pointlessness of the entire statement. Just what is Carter's "way of life," Wayner? Classic.

• Bottom of the 8th, none out, two on for the Giants, Freddie Sanchez at the plate: "He does square, he bunts in the air, but it touches down. There's a play at third, Lincecum running there, and the throw goes to third, and the out recorded on a play by [pause] Elmer Dessens."

Nice of Hagin to tell us who fielded the ball and made the throw to third -- well after the play was over. Might be nice if he'd also said who took the throw at third. Presumably the third baseman, but it was a bunt play, so who knows?

• Top of the 9th, two outs, 1-1 count on Ike Davis: "Now he winds, turns his back to the hitter and delivers an outside pitch [slight pause] on the corner for a strike. He picked up a beautiful strike, as umpire Ted Barrett was able to ring him up."

Wayne obviously thought the pitch was outside, then scrambled to adjust when the pitch was called a strike. Note the use of "ring him up," which is usually used when an ump calls a third strike, not a second strike.

• One pitch later: "A swing and a ground ball the right side. A diving stop by Freddie Sanchez, he throws to first to get the out. [Crowd goes wild, because the Giants have just won the game.] A great defensive effort on the part of Freddie Sanchez and a ball that looked like it was ticketed to right field, and would have breng [yes, "breng"] the tying run to the plate, but it didn't happen. A diving stop on the ball, and the slow-running Ike Davis is out, and Tim Lincecum has thrown a complete-game shutout."

Um, perhaps it might have been appropriate to say, "… and the ballgame is over" or "…for the final out of the game" or something along those lines when the out was recorded, instead of jibber-jabbering for 20 seconds, no?

• There was also a priceless bit when Wayne mispronounced "halitosis" as "halihouses." (Why was he talking about halitosis, you ask? Don't ask.) And at one point he started to say the word "observation" and then caught himself and changed it to "observing," but he had already committed to putting the emphasis on the third syllable of the word, so it came out as "obserVING." You can't make this stuff up. Fire Wayne Hagin already!