July 29th: Cardinals vs. Mets

I've been remiss in my Wayne-watching lately -- been busy in the evenings and then I attended this afternoon's game in person. Fortunately, reader Brian Erni was listening to today's game on the radio. As I walked out of the ballpark toward my car, he sent me the following dispatch:

I must admit, I was slow to get on the Wayne Hagin crusade. But after today, my mind has changed, because Wayne was really on top of his game. Here's how he massacred the seventh inning.

On my way back to work from my lunch break, I was listening to the game in the car. Wayne had the seventh inning and Albert Pujols came to the plate. Wayne was excited to state that Albert had done something in the 2000s decade that had only been done three times before: "Pujols led the majors for the decade in batting average, home runs AND RBIs -- the CYCLE!"

Wayne corrected himself after putting major inflection on "cycle," realizing he had just boned it and stumbled around the correction. "Of course, I said the cycle, but I mean, of course, the triple crown, being batting average, home runs and RBIs..."

It was at this point that I ran into the post office to send out some letters. This took a solid 10 minutes. I come back out to the car and hear Wayne continuing, "...Pujols leading the league in the three offensive categories for the decade!" So this guy belabored this ridiculous point for the rest of the top of the seventh and then took it into the bottom of the seventh with one out. And it wasn't even that great of a tidbit! It's a MADE UP measuring stick that has happened four times in twelve decades, which by my count is 33% of the time -- not such a rarity. …

Later, it started to drizzle and Howie Rose said, "It's a good thing the Mets have handed out umbrellas today at the stadium, because the rain is starting to fall lightly..." Once Howie finished Wayne said, "Good thing it's Umbrella Day here at the stadium!" Gee, I'm so glad no one else had said that 6-1/2 seconds earlier!

Welcome aboard the Wayner wagon, Brian, and thanks for that report. (And if anyone else wants to submit some of Wayne's whoppers, send your choice bits of Haginicity here.)

Once I got to my car, I was able to hear a bit of Wayne on the postgame show. He mentioned that the key defensive plays of the game were a pair of double plays that the Mets turned, "which were very important, because a man was on first." Yes, Wayne, that's often the case when a double play takes place. Why does this man have a job? Fire Wayne Hagin already!